


Au revoir, Oliver

by SadRoseGarden



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Closure, Elio is the bravest boy, M/M, Not Happy, Sad Ending, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24006340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadRoseGarden/pseuds/SadRoseGarden
Summary: Elio closes Oliver's chapter in his life.-I'm sorry. 💕
Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	Au revoir, Oliver

Oliver got married.  
Yes, and I saw it, I was there.

He was handsome in a grey tuxedo, with rose in his lapel, with miles of legs and beauty.  
But his smile… I've never seen him so...haunted. His big blue eyes were so scared, when he saw me entering the church and sitting with my parents I could swear he was begging me just by the look of his blue eyes. 

Of course I ignored him. What good could come from going there and asking him if he was ok? None. So I decided to keep my distance, it was for the best of us all. He had his life now, a wife, eventually he would be a father, and he would also be a wonderful husband, because this is just who he is. Wonderful human being, not perfect, but wonderful nonetheless.

And I watched everything...  
The moment she entered the room, the way he got a blank face immediately, the way he was shaking like a leaf, I saw it all, and nobody else noticed. They were used to that Oliver. A bad and poor version of the amazing man I met last summer, that man who took my heart and my love with him during those few beautiful weeks we spent being each other in Italy, in heaven, in his room, my room, our room.

But my Oliver, the one that only I had the honor to know, he was just following the script he was meant to follow. Marry, have children, be a professor, have a decent life and be a mediocre person with a boring ordinary routine. Unfortunately my Oliver was a coward too, that's why he was getting married. He chose the other way, the "normal" one, and I hope he has enough strength to endure the path, because it must be awful to suppress who you really are.

On the other hand, I am sure enough of myself. A bissexual boy who has a whole life to live, to study, to play the piano and maybe to find love again. The world is vast and I'm gluttonous for everything it has to offer me, I want it all. I already had my first heartbreak, my first love, no scratch that, my only love… Because I'm certain I won't find another like him, nobody is more myself than I am like he is. 

Oliver is Oliver. Oliver is Elio. Elio is Oliver.

Now I want to be ready for what comes after. I needed to see it happening, he saying his vows, he putting the ring on her finger, he kissing her, he smiling his best fake smile to the people around us, he dancing with her after, and now he beside me, looking at me like a puppy abandoned at the rain, and saying the worst possible thing he ever said to me...

"It should have been us, Elio."

No, Oliver, don't say this. Please, I can't, don't say you regret it because it didn't even start a yet and you're already pulling away. Don't say this, don't think like this, don't you dare to want this, you have no right to come here with that big ring on your finger and say it should be us. You just can't.

"No, Oliver. Just don't, ok? It's your day, accept your choice, be brave and live the life you chose. You'll be good, because you're good. She deserves your good. She got you at the end, not me. It never was me, Oliver…"

He looks at me with tears in his beautiful blue eyes and I pity him. And this is the ugliest feeling I could feel towards him, but it is what it is. My poor Oliver, doomed to a sad fake life.

"Do you forgive me? For everything, for being a pussy, for lying, for leaving? Do you forgive me, Elio?"

Oh, Oliver…

"No."

"No?"

"No. And you'll have to deal with it, americano."

Now it was his heart shattering all over again in front of me. I'm sorry, Oliver, but I can't lie. I can't hide, I'm not that good of an actor like you are. I'll never lie to you, I never have. So this is it, go to your new life knowing you destroyed me and that I love you with the warmth of a hundred suns.

"Oh, Elio…"

"It's all good, ok? You have her now, and I have my future too. I'll start college soon, I'll play my music, and I'll love again. I'll rebuild myself, Oliver. Don't worry…"

Now he's full on sobbing and my parents already know everything, so… I don't even pretend or try to low my voice. His wife can't see anything, she's far away dancing with someone, maybe her father, I don't really care… I heard her name today and I'm already making sure I'll forget it the moment I get away from here.

"I'm sorry…"

He says and his voice is so small, I want to hug him and tell him that everything is gonna be alright, that I'm here with him, but I'm not. He never wanted me to be here with him. He chose her. He chose this new life. His parallel life. He has to deal with it.

"Stop it, ok? Look, she's looking for you now, go to her, Oliver. Just go, please…"

He looks at me with his big blue eyes and nods sadly, my poor Oliver… And then he stands and goes to her.

My mom smiles at me and we have a whole conversation without words, she knows I needed this closure. My dad seems proud, if you only knew, Papa… I'm so broken, so destroyed, if a part of me remains colorful it will be a true miracle. But I have to keep going, I can't stop my life. He didn't stop, so I won't either.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone.  
> Thanks for reading.  
> I'm @thelastflor at Tumblr.
> 
> 😘🍑💕


End file.
